And I'm Finally Yours
by violetgrace
Summary: All your life nobody really understood you. All her life, she was kind of a open book. Yet, even though she was so diffrent than you, you fell inlove. You wanted to tell her that. But ofcourse you can't, because she's not yours.


_One can be so different than the other, yet together the puzzle was complete. Because the difference one another made competed the other._

All your life nobody really understood you. You were the kind of person who wore whatever you wanted, simply because you liked it. You were the kind of person who said no to party invitations, because you rather made mixes of your favorite songs. You were the kind of person nobody really saw, but didn't care about. And whenever people talked tried you would make them go away with your sarcastic tone, so eventually people stopped trying.

All her life, she was kind of a open book, atleast people thought so. She was the kind of person who would wear clothes everyone wore, because she didn't want to diffrent. She was the kind of person who would say yes to every party invitations, because she didn't want to dissapoint anyone. She was the kind of girl you couldn't miss, she was bright, talking with such an enthusiasm.

Yet, even though she was so diffrent than you, you fell inlove. You fell inlove with her enthusiasm, her bright personality. Where you would by others, you didn't mind her invading your personal space, at all. Maybe you fell inlove because she is everything you aren't, maybe it was the way she made you feel.

You can't stop thinking about her, even though you try. Because you can't have her. So whenever she smiles at you, you smile back just a little. No, you can't have her. You can't have her. And that's what you tell yourself everytime you allowed yourself to think about her.

So you choose the predictable road. Leaning once more for a kiss with the boy you didn't even like in that sort of way. He wasn't your type. But it would take your mind of her, well that was what you thought. But it didn't. Because everytime he hugged or kissed you, your mind would slip back at her. So, you pushed him away, just like you did with everyone in your life. He asked why that was. But you couldn't answer that, because you didn't even know yourself. You've had done it all your life, It was just easier.

She asked about it one time, asking why the two of you broke up so fast. She thought you two were cute. You stared at her and just shrugged. You couldn't tell her because you know things would get awkward_. _You know that she wasn't the kind of person who would scream at your face and walk out of your life. With other people you wouldn't care, because you didn't need them, but you needed her to stay in your life. You didn't say anything more, things would be diffrent if you did, maybe she wouldn't smile at you so often anymore, and maybe she wouldn't dare to hug anymore. And those little things felt pretty much the same as people walking out of your life.

You got invited for one of those campus parties. Normally you wouldn't go, you hated those kind of things. But she begged you to come, so you did. You stood in the corner watching people making a fool out of theirself. You saw the boy you had dumped already having a good time with _her_ best friend. In the corner of your eyes you saw her walking towards you. You tried to keep it together, but inside you were screaming. She was drunk, but you didn't care. She told you that she didn't even know how much she had drank. Then her face came so close that you could smell her breath, you almost thought she was gonna kiss you, but ofcourse she didn't. Instead she told you that she was happy you came. This leaning close and almost kissing was her sort of thing when she got drunk. You didn't mind though. When she said she would get you a drink, you never saw her again that night. When you catched the ginger a couple of minutes later making out with the shower guy you had met the first time you had sung with her, you knew that you should look away, but you couldn't. For one moment you wished you were the boy. Atleast he could have her.

She texted you the day after, telling you that she had fun and that she couldn't wait to see you at rehearsal. Normally you would've been happy with that last sentence, but this time, you didn't. Because it didn't mean the way you wanted it to be. And it hurted. It really did. Once again you try to fight against the tears trying to make their way down your cheek, but just like the night before, you couldn't. So you let them rolling. You text her saying you dont' feel okay.

But ofcourse, the ginger knocked on her door an half hour later anyways, she just was like that. Always trying to take care of everyone around her, that she often forgot herself in process. You hated when she did that, forgetting about herself sometimes, people always running over her like she didn't matter. Because she did, and oh God, how you wanted to tell her that. But ofcourse you can't, because she's not yours.

You let her in and she looked at you puzzled, obviously seeing your red eyes. Embarrassed because she noticed it, you tell her a lie. But ofcourse, she didn't buy it, because she could see right through you. Like you were an open book, even though you weren't at all. You look down and she hugs you, and you let her. She doesn't ask, because she knows if you're ready you would tell her. She was that kind of person. Eventually she lets you go and she just looks. You can't help to look back because you simply couldn't look away from those eyes. She promises you whatever it is, everything would be fine. You nod, even though you know the feelings you have for her probably would never go away. Then she tells you that you're coming over tomorrow to watch a movie, it wasn't an inviation,. You nod again, and she hugs you again.

You want to punch yourself for agreeing, because even though one part of you says you should, an another part always says you shouldn't. But you do anyways, and the day after you knock on her door, and she immediately opens the door and hugs you, again. She tells you that you and her are gonna have so much fun. You smile, but know that maybe it really was a bad idea to come. You sit down next to her when the movie begins. You don't care about the movie, the only thing what went through your mind was how close she was to you. When the film was over, you two lie down on her bed. She pushed her body closer to yours and she looked at you. A sudden urge to kiss her once again goes through your head. But you can't ofcourse, she's not yours. You wanna ask about the shower guy, but don't wanna ruin the moment already. You just want to stay there, cuddled up with her, just a little bit longer. She smiles. And it drives you crazy. The way she pushed herself closer again, didn't help either. The urge to kiss her pushing back into your mind. So you do. You feel her lips on yours, and for a moment everything felt right. But it wasn't. The closeness between the two of you slowly disappears. And you close your eyes. When you open your eyes she looks at you. You can't read her eyes. You can't seem to figure out what she's thinking. So you stand up as fast as you can, you mumble something she doesn't hear anways, and you leave her. Because even though you couldn't read those eyes, you could tell by the closeness what slowly had disappears. You head back to your room, not even bothered by your roommate talking to you, and lie down on your own bed. Tears again rolling down on your cheek. You didn't even bother to fight them anymore. You know you're a mess.

You didn't wanna see her, so you tried to avoid her as much as you could, but with every day's rehearsals, avoiding her seemed impossible. She watched you, you could feel her eyes burn on you, but you didn't face her, you couldn't. Everyone seemed to notice. Your friends asked what was wrong. But ofcours you couldn't tell, only the eyes burning on her knew.

Never in her life had she opened up to anyone. All she did was pushing people away. And as much as she tried to push the ginger away, she just couldn't. But now it seemed like she had the pushed away the one person who she truly cared about. She didn't want to be reminded of that everytime she saw the girl at rehearsals. So she told the girls' best friends that she didn't want to be a part of the group anymore, in her own way of saying anyways. Ofcourse the other girl was furious, because the final was already in two weeks, but she didn't care anymore. She did enjoy singing with the bella's. She never really had friends before, and in some sort of way she concidered them as her friends. But she couldn't put herself through the pain she would get everytime she would see the ginger, which was pretty puch every day.. Just for the sake of herself.

The others weren't even furious that you had quitted, they simply didn't understand. But she did though. Ofcourse she did. Although every single one had begged her to come back, everyone but her. To get your head out of all the mess you start to mix some songs together. You come across Titanium, and your mind slips back to a memory of her again. So much for getting you head out of the mess. The taller girl had showed up while she was showering. A confident as she was she had told you she wouldn't leave before you would sing her that song. So you did. Because in that moment, you already couldn't resist those eyes, her smile, and her being naked didn't made it easier either. You paused the song when you hear a knock on your door. You sighed, you know for sure it's one of them again, begging your to come back again. But instead when you open the door, it's her.

She didn't even wait for you to say she could come in, she already did. She sat down at your bed and just looked at you. Yet again, you couldn't read her eyes, you couldn't read what she was thinking. You looked away, and then she started to ask you thousends of questions. You don't even bother to answer, you just stand there. Finally she stands up and before you know she's right infront of you. You're forced to look at her, so you did. You open your mounth and you tell her you're sorry. But she didn't say anything back. So the two of you just stood there, looking at each other for several minutes.

Then finally she speaks, this time no questions leave her mounth. You couldn't even open your mounth, because her lips were already on yours. From shock you push away just a little. Because you're not sure what's happening, yet you know. You've been waiting for this to happen so long, you've even imagined it, in that moment you can't even tell if it's real. But her eyes tells you that it's real, they give you an understanding look. Beause she knows. So you lean in again and kiss her. Her hands pulling you even closer to her. Forcing to break away from the kiss, to catch a breath, you open your eyes and meet hers again. She smiles. And you smile back. You kiss her forhead. Because you know that you can. Because she is yours.


End file.
